so I realized I need to start writing here again. I usually write in a blog for a while and then I look back at stuff I wrote... and I realize that what I had to say wasn't as profound as I thought it was at the time. And I just delete the blog and start a new one. A few months ago I read some of my diaries from when I was like 12, and they made me laugh... I think when I'm 70ish I'll need some entertainment, so maybe I should stop deleting these things.
I like that this vox site has a button that just simply says "CREATE"... I think if my life had a remote control... "create" would be the big red button in the middle. Probably next to the "pause" button. I've always wanted a pause button. I remember one time I was so frustrated at how fast everyone moved and how slow I did in comparison that I actually took a clock off the wall and took out the batteries. As if that would do anything! Somehow it made me feel better though, maybe cuz it wasn't staring me in the face, that little moving "hand" that really should be called a finger and its little clicking noise wasn't reminding me that another second just passed me by and I just wasted it by thinking about it.
For a long time I've thought that the only voices you can learn from are those of non-fiction. Newspapers, documentaries, history books, essays, textbooks...
And I've wondered why we read stories. Is it just one of the many ways we escape reality for a while, like an alcohol addiction, just less destructive? Is there anything constructive in reading stories? Developing our imaginations? Becoming more literate? Is that all? If that's everything, then are these sufficient enough reasons to spend time there?
I used to think that's all there was to stories. And then I watched Atonement. Watching it was like putting my soul in a blender. It challenged me. And it made me start to think why I love fiction...
The thing I like about stories is that they are not a bunch of facts that can be challenged, although you can challenge the logic. They set their own facts so you concern yourself more with the ideas, the themes... you find new definitions for words like love and sacrifice, you wonder what these themes mean in reality, in this world's set of facts.
And I've also realized that good stories aren't just about taking you on a ride, about giving you that escape. Most romantic comedies, most little girls playing barbies (or to be current... bratz dolls?), most romance novels seem like emotional pornography... a cheap taste of the real thing.
I'm still trying to sort this out (so i'm sorry my thoughts aren't well-organized here), but the main thing I've learned is that good stories challenge you to think differently about universal themes and ideas. And whether the story is fiction or not, it's more alive than a definition.
The dictionary defines "humble" as "not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive", but a story defines "humble" as "[Jesus], being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!"
which one has more to say about humility?
I read this article from The Economist a few months ago about how the music industry will eventually move to handing out their songs for free, since that's what people demand. The downside is that we will be all the more exposed to excessive advertising. So I've been thinking about this... wondering how many other sectors will take this route, and what the implications will be. I've been wondering how frustrating it will be to attempt to avoid the stream of arbitrary true-or-not-true messages that will inevitably knock my door down. It's already started. If you are addicted to television or the internet, you can't avoid it.
Sometimes I just think about the amount of information I can access in a few clicks, and I wonder how people get grounded, how they decide what endures, out of all the bytes upon bytes, what information not only tells the truth, but is of any use. I'm pretty deeply grounded, and I get lost in it sometimes. I've learned it helps to find a quiet place with a blanket and a notebook and just write.
speaking of...
"There is a quiet place
Far from the rapid pace
Where God can soothe my troubled mind
Sheltered by tree and flow´r
There in my quiet hour
With Him my cares are left behind
Whether a garden small
Or on a mountain tall
New strength and courage there I find
Then from this quiet place
I go prepared to face
A new day with love for all mankind"
and of course...
i love how she takes her time... my favorite voices are when the singer holds back, knows how much is enough, knows how to build up to the soaring parts. Listening to a singer who overdoes it is like walking into a TJIFridays type of restaurant where the walls are so busy you can't tell what the paint color is. Give me more paint!
I used to go to a school called Cedarville University.
I go back and forth as to whether I liked the place or not... truth is, I liked the people. After my sophomore year, the president of the college retired after 25 years of service. And so in my junior year, along came a new president called Dr. Brown. Every weekday at Cedarville we were required to go to chapel, and most Mondays, the president of the university spoke to the students. A few months ago, I discovered a podcast of these lovely little monday talks. And today I listened to a short one where he listed some modern day proverbs (I do recognize the cheesiness and am surprised someone at some point in my life so far hasn't e-mail-forwarded me this list... it is possible tho...i delete e-mail forwards if the subject looks lame or "inspirational")...
"Things I have learned" © Kathy Kane Hansen (I found it online... Key: Dr. Brown shared the words in bold, I can especially relate to the words in red, and... both of us) I have learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I have learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. I have learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. I have learned that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts. I have learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something. I have learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I have learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it. I have learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I have learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I have learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I have learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think. I have learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I have learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't. I have learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I have learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I have learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. I have learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I have learned that learning to forgive takes practice. I have learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it. I have learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score. I have learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. I have learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up. I have learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I have learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I have learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. I have learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I have learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it. I have learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological. I have learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I have learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I have learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I have learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I have learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to. I have learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. I have learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions. I have learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I have learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. I have learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I have learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. I have learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love. I have learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life. I have learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most. I have learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. I have learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I have learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains. I have learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us. I have learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I have learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. I have learned that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used. I have learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe. ...so there ya go... maybe a few clichés, but good advice nonetheless!
